THE GRANDMA DORIS

OFFICIAL INTERNET WEBZONE

Q: Grandma Doris, do you need legal help? Where are you?
A: Grandma is fine and happy and in Utah, do not send police please.

Q: Grandma, it's your kiddos. Can we come visit you sometime?
A: Don't try to trick me, you snake tounged satans.

Q: How is your sex life?
A: I am a GOOD Christian Woman, and sex is offensive to the LORD. Please stop asking me this or I'll go to HELL.

Q: How do you get so clean under the wrinkles?
A: An electric toothbrush, nail polish remover, a box of matches, and steel wool. Grandma bonus for making your crusts into delicious treats for the grandkiddos!

 

Q: Why haven't you died yet, you baggy sack of offal ooze?
A: Not now, Clarence.

Q: What were your whereabouts on the night Jimmy Hoffa disappeared?
A: Please stop calling me.

Q: You're going to croak any second now, you old broad.
A: Not now, Clarence.