Hello
there, kiddos. My
name is Grandma Doris and this is my internet webzone. I'm just a silly
old egg and I don't know how to work these new "computers" so one
of my personal kiddos is working his dot-com magic for me.
My husband Clarence, who calls me occasionally, says I'm a dirty old
sack and that I'll be dying
any day now, so I'm going to hook my immortal soul into the everliving
inter-computer-tube network so that I can become immortal and outlive
that dirty no-account tomfooler.
I have four kiddos, but they haven't called me ever since that incident
with the fifth and sixth kiddos. It wasn't Grandma's fault. You can
trust Grandma. My four kiddos are named Jake, William, Baily, and
Holland, but I don't know where they live anymore, and the Good
Lord Jesus knows I've tried to find out.
I
live at Sinewy Pines Perpetual Death Home for the Irredeemably Aged in
a large hole which has been hollowed out of the drywall with my nurse
Geoff, who isn't allowed to leave under penalty of going to the farm.
My last nurse was a fat Sicilian man and when they sent him to the farm
my rations tasted just horrible for a month. I tried to give them my
mind but they told me I wasn't too old for the farm just yet, so I had
to go back to my hole.